Rhea Raghunauth is a fourth-year Bachelor of Science student at the University of Toronto, majoring in Neuroscience and Public Health. During her undergraduate studies, she became deeply aware of the lack of advocacy and education surrounding gender-based violence, despite the rising rates of intimate partner violence and femicide in Ontario and her hometown of Brampton. This realization fueled her commitment to driving change through advocacy and education, both within the university and her community. Combining her academic background with her passion for community building, Rhea aims to challenge and reshape the discourse on gender-based violence, with a particular focus on intimate partner violence.
Living in a city like Toronto is undoubtedly exhilarating. The skyline, the beautiful CN Tower, the late-night food spots in Chinatown, the hum of people moving in all directions—it’s a world that feels alive. A world that is so rich in culture, history and stories. But for women and gender-diverse people, city life isn’t just a predominantly positive place; city life comes with an undercurrent of caution, a silent set of calculations we make every day just to exist safely.
Walking home after dark? Share your location. Wearing headphones? Keep one ear open. Walking to class? Find a friend. Wearing a dress? Maybe change. These are the unspoken rules of survival for women. These are the rules that aren’t written in any city guide but are learned through experience, through whispered warnings from friends, through the stories of those who didn’t make it home safe.
These habits may seem small, but they reflect a deep-rooted societal issue: Women are expected to be responsible for their own safety in a world that refuses to guarantee it. And while the beautiful city promises boundless possibilities, career opportunities, and educational endeavours, it also harbors spaces of exclusion, where fear dictates movement, choices, and even ambition. The ability to explore freely, to take up space without hesitation, remains an elusive privilege, afforded by only some.
Despite the tremendous strides women and gender-diverse people have taken toward challenging inequalities and inspiring change, gender-based violence remains, unfortunately, an urgent issue. The devastating reality of gender-based violence has forced the public to encourage women to employ specific tactics to evade the tragedies of gender-based violence. We’re often told to “be careful,” to change how we dress, to avoid certain places at certain times. It is always up to us to be careful and make the right and safest decisions. These tragic narratives that strip women of their autonomy have been further accentuated by sociopolitical turmoil, with phrases like “your body, my choice” and “get back to the kitchen” dominating social media. These harmful messages are reinforced through television, video games, and everyday conversations. When these concerning behaviors are called into question, they are often dismissed with phrases like “boys will be boys.”
But these harmful excuses are not just a silly tactic to dismiss problematic behavior—they reinforce a culture that normalizes gender-based violence. When young boys grow up hearing that their actions, no matter how aggressive or inappropriate, are just “boys being boys,” they internalize a dangerous message: that accountability does not apply to them. Meanwhile, women and gender-diverse people are conditioned to accept discomfort, to shrink themselves, and to modify their behavior in ways that prioritize the comfort of others over their well-being.
The problem with this logic is that it shifts the burden of prevention onto potential victims rather than addressing the root cause: the perpetrators and the systems that enable them. Instead of teaching women and gender-diverse people how to avoid danger, why aren’t we focusing on raising boys and men who do not pose a threat in the first place? Why aren’t we challenging the structures that excuse predatory behavior and, instead, creating environments where everyone can exist without fear?
The reality of gender-based violence is grim, but there is hope. Across the world, movements are pushing for change – consent education in schools is growing, conversations about toxic masculinity are becoming more mainstream, and more survivors are speaking out than ever before. These shifts matter. They disrupt the silence that allows violence to thrive.
However, this is not enough. We need systemic accountability. Governments and policymakers must strengthen protections for survivors. Workplaces, universities, and public institutions need to actively implement policies that ensure safety and justice. The media must be held responsible for the messages they amplify, restricting and abolishing the narrative of men dominating women.
And men, especially, need to step up—not as silent bystanders, but as active participants in dismantling the very structures that allow gender-based violence to persist.
Toronto, like any city, holds incredible potential. It can be a place of opportunity, of empowerment, of safety—but only if we commit to making it so. The unspoken rules of urban survival should not exist. Women and gender-diverse people should not have to plan their lives around fear. And the responsibility for change should not rest solely on those most at risk.
While we celebrate the tremendous achievements of women on this International Women’s Day, we must also Accelerate Action and advocate for the strides yet to be made. It’s time to rewrite the narrative. Not just with words but with action.
The University of St. Michael’s will mark International Women’s Day on Saturday, March 8.
Rhea Raghunauth is the recipient of a University of Toronto Student Leadership Award for her work as a mentor with U of T’s Women’s Advocacy Outreach, Co-President of the Mental Health Association at U of T, and Co-Founder of The Canadian Courage Project UTSG Chapter. In the later role she led a book drive by collecting hundreds of donated books to start the first in-house library at HomesFirst Shelters. Through all her involvement, she has discovered a passion for advocacy and volunteering.
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