Anne Louise Mahoney is an alumna of St. Michael’s College who lives in Ottawa. Her BA in English paved the way for a career as an editor, which means she still gets to read all day long!
I think of her so often – her turns of phrase, her laugh, her bright spirit. I think of things I want to tell her and then remember that she’s gone. I tell her anyway.
As Mother’s Day approaches, memories rise to the surface. Chatting about everything and nothing at the kitchen table. Watching classic movies together. Washing the dishes (I always dried and put away). Retelling the old stories, which only improved with time: growing up in Ottawa during the war; high school shenanigans; training as a nurse with the Sisters of St. Joseph and then working at St. Michael’s Hospital; meeting and marrying my dad, a young reporter at the Toronto Telegram. And so many stories of my sisters and me growing up.
Our mothers – whether they give birth to us or become mothers to us through kinship, friendship or happenstance – encourage us, teach us, comfort us, read us the riot act from time to time, and everything in between. It’s not an easy job, and yet every day, more and more people join their ranks. When I was in labour, I found myself thinking of all the women before me who had done this work, breathing new life into the world despite all the uncertainty that lay ahead. Talk about a leap of faith! Somehow, it helped me through the pain and overwhelming emotions of the moment. That endless line of women diving into an unknown future.
Like many of us, I didn’t appreciate all that my mom had been through with us kids until I became a mother myself: the sheer physical effort, the loss of sleep (during both babyhood and the teenage years), the worry when illness or other crises struck, the sacrifices made with a willing spirit. I also didn’t reckon on the boundless joy of knowing a person so deeply from day one, with all the ups and downs that come along with this journey we call life. My child and I formed our own little world of wonder and awe, hope and safety, laughter and, yes, tears. Our lives orbited around each other, even as that orbit grew larger over time.
The years flew by, even though some days were never-ending. I read a lot of stories, made a lot of school lunches, witnessed a lot of adventures … and stepped on a lot of Lego. (I still find the odd piece of Lego around the house!) I learned so much about going with the flow, shifting my priorities, opening my mind and heart, and really listening, even in the silence.
My mom died in 2021 after a long and happy life. In her final years, although her health was seriously compromised, she embraced each day with gratitude. “God is so good,” she would say. What a blessing! Her gifts to me continue to appear, unexpected but so welcome.
I am reminded of what Suzanne Simard, a professor of forest ecology at the University of British Columbia and the author of Finding the Mother Tree: Discovering the Wisdom of the Forest, writes about the largest and oldest trees with the most connections: “When Mother Trees—the majestic hubs at the center of forest communication, protection, and sentience—die, they pass their wisdom to their kin, generation after generation, sharing the knowledge of what helps and what harms, who is friend or foe, and how to adapt and survive in an ever-changing landscape. It’s what all parents do.”
It seems I am becoming one of those mother trees with growing connections: my little grandson is now seven months old! I marvel as he grows and changes, so alert and full of life. He is blossoming before our eyes. His parents have embraced their new role and are busy caring for him and cheering him on as he reaches each new milestone. The circle of life continues to expand, even in the face of difficulties here in Canada and across the world: poverty, injustice, war, devastating climate change, hatred, and polarization on many fronts.
Beyond all those hard things is love, including mother love. And as St. Paul tells us, love “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” (1 Cor. 13:7-8)
May all who mother be blessed, on Mother’s Day and always!
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